Thursday, October 30, 2008

28 Week Ultrasound

A big sigh of relief ... and only tears of joy after today's ultrasound. Baby is measuring 28 1/2 weeks, and I just turned 28 weeks today. She's in the 55th percentile and everything looks good. My blood pressure was even quite good today and I was at the hospital in the high risk part, so go figure, you'd think that would stress me out more... They estimate that she currently weighs 2 pounds, 10 ounces, which is almost a full pound bigger than PB when he was born (which would have been yesterday in terms of where I am gestationally in this pg). Crazy to think about.

So, so far, so good! We'll just hope and pray that all continues to go well, and Redheaded Momma, I may just put up a few of those signs!

We have SO MUCH TO DO to get ready for this little girl!!! Her room isn't even painted. Oh well, it will all happen, it always does. I did, FINALLY, pick out bedding. Do you know that Restoration Hardware now has kids' furnishing and nursery bedding, even clothes--like a pottery barn kids kind of. Anyway, really cute stuff and I ordered some from there. Of course, I don't use bumpers, so it's really just a crib skirt and fitted sheets, but it's cute nonetheless... oh, actually, let me try to post a picture:

Halloween tomorrow--one big, sugar-induced tantrum waiting to happen with parties and trick or treating galore that pretty much goes from the minute PB wakes up!

Friday, October 24, 2008

ups and downs

this week has been exhausting and good and scary...then rinse and repeat. mostly it's been good--saw an old friend, pb's in a good place, I've felt pretty good for the most part, though more tired than I had been.

then i had my dr. appt. yesterday and it all fell apart--my blood pressure was up to the highest level it has been, and I just lost it ... AGAIN. I think I freaked my doctor out though he hasn't suggested therapy ... yet, suprisingly. everything else looks good, so i'm trying to focus on that--can I tell you how many times a day I examine my ankles for swelling?. The crazy thing is that when i took my bp myself at my gym a couple of hours after the dr.--it was back to down to where it's been--at least 15 points lower than the dr. office. so i know i'm stressing myself out and of course stress about that. So i'm trying to focus on the fact that this is all out of MY hands. All I can do is take care of myself and get rest, etc. but really other than that and being vigilant (which is totally stressful for me)there's NOTHING I can do. So that's that. Maybe once I get past the point in this pg when PB was born (next week), I'll feel more relieved...I don't know. I do have another ultrasound next week, which I pray shows the baby is still growing great. If it does, that will do a lot to reassure me too. If only I could just relax and enjoy all of this...

I am looking forward to this weekend. a little shopping tomorrow, then meeting a friend for dinner and a movie. do you have any idea how long it has been since I saw a movie?! sunday we have a picnic for PB's school, which should be fun. I also have a stack of magazines up to my neck and a book I'm dying to read (Julia Glass's new one!) so I'm going to make time for those as well. ... and, of course, a little work. because all play and no work makes me ... even more stressed out come Monday :) have a great weekend!

Thursday, October 16, 2008

26 Weeks

Today I am 26 weeks along. This is the same week that I went into the hospital with PB. I was in D.C. for business for four days--a very fun, but exhausting trip. I love being back there, and truly feel like it's home. It's where I had my first "real" job out of college, where I got my master's degree, where I met my husband. I would move back there in a heartbeat if I ever got the chance. It was great to see my friend Gretchen too in addition to some good work done--the real purpose the trip.

But when I got back home Tuesday night (after a very emotional reunion with PB--who I missed like I couldn't believe)I looked at my ankles and they were puffy; swollen. Just like the were in my last pregnancy. I've been watching them like a hawk since I first saw two lines on the pg stick, but they've always remained bony. Not this time, there was no questioning if they were swollen. They just were. And at that point, I thought, "Oh no, here we go again". I was an emotional mess yesterday, in uncontrollable tears for most of it, flashing back to what had happened with PB and imagining going through it all (and probably worse) again. But somehow I made myself get a grip, and went to the grocery store to take my b/p, which was just fine--a little elevated (probably due to stress) but still well within normal limits. So i relaxed a little bit and regained some composure to make it through the rest of the day...and my ankles started looking better.

This morning I'm happy to report that my bones are sticking out just like normal. There isn't an ounce of swelling to be seen, and my b/p (took it again this moring) is just great. So I'm feeling relieved and greatful and hoping it was just the pressure from the plane, an exhausting trip and walking around in heels for three days. Let's hope ... and pray.

What kills me is my emotional fragility right now. I know it's understandable given what we went through and with pregnancy hormones on top of it, but my God, I can become a mess quite easily... which i'm sure is just great for my b/p.

If my body (and mind!) can just hold on for about 11 more weeks, that's all I ask ...

Sunday, September 21, 2008

I Need Kisses!

This is what PB was yelling in the middle of the night. I woke up at 2:37 a.m. to hear him shouting over and over again, "mommy, I need some kisses! mommy, I really need your kisses." I thought perhaps it was a dream, but when I went up there he seemed fully awake. I gave him some kisses, a drink of water and didn't hear from again until morning.

I don't ever particularly like to be woken up in the middle of the night, but if I'm going to be, this is sure a sweet way for it to happen :)

In other news, this little girl has begun to kick and dance and move all the time. I didn't feel it much for a long time and now all of a sudden she's just buzzing around in there, and I can see my stomach moving when she does. I love it and am starting to let myself get more and more excited about her arrival. The pink collection is growing!(and I'm really not only buying pink, but it's certainly a predominant color in her little growing wardrobe). I'm still feeling good, and no swelling, although a little more tired lately. I got to sleep in both mornings this weekend, so that helped.

Overall, a nice weekend. Had some friends over for dinner yesterday, a little shopping today with PB for new court shoes for tennis, brunch, church, soccer--all the things suburban families do on weekends. On the shoe front--he was wearing a size 9 and we had to buy him an 11 1/2--yikes his poor little toes were probably really cramped in there! Oops, maybe his game will improve now that his feet aren't being bound and tortured!

Saturday, September 6, 2008

I bought something pink today!

I was going to wait longer, but I just couldn't, and so today, I finally, bought something pink for our little baby. I can't believe I've been able to wait so long, AND I can't believe I ONLY bought one thing when I did. But it's hard--harder than I thought it would be. I'm sooo picky it's not even funny and put great care into every item of clothing I purchase--for PB, for me, OK, not really for my husband--just sorta effort there, becasue he's really easy and doesn't like me to be too creative.

I've loved dressing PB (still do), I look back at his pictures and remember where each outfit is from, when I bought it, etc. And with a girl the pressure feels even greater ... not because I think clothes are that important in the scheme of things, but they are my thing so to speak. I love them, always have ... and the the little girl options--ohhhhh. But I have a lot of rules about what I like and don't like, which I won't bore you here with, but one VERY important one (especially for grandparents and older relatives) there should be absolutely NO Disney chararcters ANYWHERE on clothing. Actually, I usually just tell them no animals in general (if we're lucky enough to have them ask) because while some can be cute, you have to know which ones are cute and which ones are just dreadful. So if they think I'm just an animal hater so be it.

Anway, the dress I bought today is adorable--it's a little printed Baby Lulu dress. I think it's for 9 months, which is a ways away, but I know I'll still like it at anytime. AND get this, it was only $9! That's right $9 at the Neiman Marcus Last Call!

Of course, I also went to about 20 children's stores and that was the ONLY thing I bought, so if it's going to take me that long for each piece--this poor girl is going to have a very limited wardrobe. But it will be a good one!

Thursday, September 4, 2008

20 Weeks, So Far, So Good

We had our big 20-week appointment today, and it went wonderfully well. Everything looks great, she's measuring right on time, and my blood pressure is great. So, so far, so good. I can't believe we're only half way there, it seems like it's been forever, although I will be thankful for each week I get to grow this baby. So I will try not to complain as I grow huger and huger. I will, however, reserve the right to complain if these hurricanes blow away my house.

A topic everyone seems to want to discuss is baby names--the fun part. I was completely set on one name, and now I'm wavering. PB absolutely loves another name that we'd been tossing around, and it's so cute how he says it that I'm leaning that way now. I don't know. It's such pressure to come up with a good name. I'm open to suggestions, so if you have any brilliant ones, let me know. I'll tell you that I tend to like more traditional ones, and I don't like ones that sound like they're made up or trying too hard. But once we decide, we will keep it a secret until the end--something has to be a surprise. But I'll be happy to give you credit then.

PB started tennis lessons, and is having lots of fun with them. He smashes the ball so hard it's hilarious watching his little body just crush it ... now we just need to work on gettting it OVER the net.

And in other news, I waited almost two entire weeks before sending his preschool teacher an e-mail with a few questions. It's driving me crazy not walking him into his class and meeting the kids and chatting with parents and the teacher each day like we did at his old school. Here it's just all carline. But his teacher was super responsive and gave me great feedback, so I feel better now. And proud that I held out that long!

Monday, September 1, 2008

The Ticking is Getting Louder

On Thursday, I'll be 20 weeks pregnant--half way there for most pregnancies. So while that's a big milestone, it's also a scary one for me. That's about the earliest they say pre-E symptoms start (which is what I had with PB). So while I've been thinking this pregnancy has been going so differently/better than my last, maybe it really hasn't. See, I don't remember when all of that started with him. It felt like I was swollen forever, but six weeks feels like a long time and perhaps it was only six weeks that I was experiencing all those symptoms before I was hospitalized at 26 weeks (and he came via emergency c-section a week later). But I just don't remember. Yet another reason I kick myself for not keeping a journal--our at least a more frequent blog!

So far, no swelling. So far, I'm feeling good and my blood pressure is good, so I'm trying to focus on those. But the ticking in my head keeps getting louder and louder. And I want to just enjoy this pregnancy--I want to start on the nursery, I want to buy GIRL clothese, but my fear is holding me back. I really don't want to have to deal with all of those things if something should go horribly wrong again.

I'm asked all the time,"isn't it just a first time pregnancy disease?" or told "Oh your chances of getting it again are so low." but belive me, I've done my research and then some, and my odds of getting it again are between 30-60 percent--and frankly I don't like those odds at all. So now, it's just watch and wait and keep up with all of my doctors' appointments.

We had some friends over this afternoon for swimming and dinner. In addition to a boy PB's age, they have a little girl who's 1 1/2. While she's adorable and I love her, my lord she's a lot of work, and makes me realize just how much baby-proofing we have to do in this house. Pool fence, child locks, gates, not to mention buying ALL the baby gear that I just gave way earlier this year when we moved!!! Of course, that's how it happens. And if all goes well, then oh well, I'm happy to do it all again. And this time it can all be PINK!